"An awareness of the Universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and powerful for words"
The Yūgen project is one of my life-long artistic and spiritual exercises.
Through colourful cartoons, pop-culture references, quotes and puzzle pieces I create a psychedelic maelstroms of tranquil chaos; exploring elements of society, philosophy, science, and nature while weaving a trail of breadcrumbs for those unsane enough to follow… Whenever the time feels right, I create six new chapters attempting to capture my journey,
I call these six chapters a Baktun.
It all started in 2010, when I created my first 'rainbow piece'
The basic idea was to create something that expressed an in-depth catalogue of my experiences here on Earth. I did this by seeing myself like a prism of perspective absorbing the Omniverse and then refracting it into colour; Creating a spectrum of my experiences and interpretations, expressed honestly and thoroughly through an illusive and chaotic trail of breadcrumbs, puzzle pieces and quotes, infused with my unorthodox humor, angst and child-like optimism.
Chapter One: !
Windows clad in random patterned bed-sheets, stains and cigarette burns on the carpet, art, music posters and doodles covering every inch of available space, and that lovely smell of cannabis hung heavy, in the air. Home. My first home. Friends would roll through like a constant river of entertainment, playing halo, getting high and chatting random shit till the wee hours.
Occasionally, while lost in my doodles, I wouldn’t even know who’d been coming or going...
lost in the haze, doodling away in peace and harmony...
Chapter Two: Odd
Once everyone left, I would find myself pondering upon society and philosophy.
Listening to the likes of Devin Townsend, DSHS and Gorillaz I spent my nights researching the most pointless things, completely useless to everyday life, but which captivated my mind and fueled my imagination until sun rise...
Chapter Three: 23
Sex and love, the ultimate drug… I was hooked. Somehow at this point I was still with my first love, but things had been bad for a while.
Growing further and further apart, while still clinging onto the dreams of the Disney happily ever after…
Chapter Four: Even
The balance of life was way out. Drinking, smoking and fucking about well too much.
I had no direction, no career, no purpose. Yes there is two sides to every coin, but I had spent mine on vodka. Screaming in silence, trying to erase all that I had known.
Chapter Five: Perspective
Friends and family would always bring that ray of light into my life though,
enabling my depressed negative head-set to try and see things from an others perspective. Reminding me to be thankful for all that I had.
I honestly don’t know where I’d be without them.
Chapter Six: !?
Then there it was… staring back at me…
six pieces of chaos; created in a mash of confusion.
Reflecting my all. Created by my hand, but not by me…
I soon realized that they had became much more...
I would find myself staring into them and having silent conversations.
Learning more about myself and the world I perceived...
It felt as if my art had come to life...
The following years were filled with so much pain and agony.
Addicted to multiple substances, bouncing through rebounds, riddled with debt,
slowly destroying myself and all in my wake...
Going mad conversing with my art...
Still in a near-constant state of personal crisis; I could definitely be considered a manic direction-less mess. However, my curiosities got the better of me, and I continued searching and researching inwards and outwards, learning as much as I could, while also experiencing new things and meeting new people. It was during this time I decided that I needed to do another rainbow piece... As so many things within and around had dissolved or evolved. ...I also required the artistic focus to distract myself from insanity... It took seven months to complete, it distracted nothing, and I felt completely destroyed,emotionally, mentally and spiritually come the end. poignantly finishing it December 21st.
Chapter Seven: "The roots and fruitation of an unjust society"
Chapter Eight: "The hub of natural beautiful, creation and happiness"
Chapter Nine: "The core of unequivocal, eternal & undying love"
Chapter Ten: "The spark of sloth diversions, influence, friends & self"
Chapter Eleven: "The maddening curiosity & fantasy of curing the earth morally & ethically"
Chapter Twelve: "The inevitable enlightening yet illusive expansion of the mind; and the peacefully humbling unknown"
Upon completion, my life seemed to end.
I had attached myself entirely into multiple fantasies…
Of which one fantasy directly entwined with this piece.
I found myself in the forest of dean that winter.
At first it didn’t help. All my favourite places, where I would usually go to find myself…
Were all destroyed. My hidden camp, now a building site. The stream, polluted,
and my favourite part of the ancient woodland; cut down.
The next Baktun...
Awakening like a phoenix rising from the ashes of the abyss
I glanced at trees that had been recently planted... and smiled.
It was here where my rainbow piece solidified into the Yūgen project
Life from that point on was very different. I was different.
My life completely turned around, I began properly chasing my dreams, sorting through my issues, living more correctly & in-harmony within myself and with those around me...
And I began to learn how to love myself...
Through this random ridiculous endeavor I've began to further understand myself, the world we're experiencing and the place I'm creating.
Often I still find myself occasionally staring into them and getting lost within silent conversations. Learning more each time...
I hope that in sharing these creations and our story with the world, maybe they will help others to also further understand themselves, and this magical experience we call life...